The other day at work I was having lunch with a bunch of people, and a couple of us got to talking about people who are extraordinarily attractive (as deemed by our culture). One guy told about a time when he was working in an office supply store, and this drop-dead-gorgeous woman walked in. Apparently she was so gorgeous that everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and just watched her. Even employees (some of whom called other coworkers and had them come onto the sales floor just so they could see this woman). Even the boss! My friend said that the boss, instead of doing any work, was himself watching and talking about her.
I started thinking about what her life must be like, if she's stared at everywhere she goes. How uncomfortable that must be! I even started to feel sorry for her. I know, it's hard to feel sorry for the beautiful people, right? But seriously, to be stared at all the time, to have people treat you like you're on some kind of pedestal, just because you're physically attractive? That would get tiresome for me--really fast. I know the times I've felt I was being appreciated solely for my looks (though I wouldn't say it happens all that often), it has really annoyed me--because all I can think is, "I am so much more than my looks!" Don't misunderstand me: I do like being considered attractive. It's just when I sense that it's the only level I'm being appreciated on that it grates on me.
I mentioned to my friend that I actually felt sorry for her. He said he believes the reason that sometimes, really gorgeous women go for guys who are basically losers is that those guys treat them mediocre at best--and since it's so different from how everyone else treats 'em, it feels like a good thing. That actually made a lot of sense to me! I had often wondered why you sometimes see really beautiful women (who, ostensibly, could have anyone they want) with just total loser guys. Perhaps this is an answer.
So: the question this time isn't: who are you overlooking? but: who are you fawning over, just because they're gorgeous? Maybe it's time to get to know them as people--and treat them as such.
I preach to myself, by the way.