Sexy From the Inside Out

source: zeldalily.com

NPR is doing a series called Living Large: Obesity in America. One of the recent stories talked about how the sex lives of some obese people suffer because of their obesity. As they point out near the beginning of the story, it's an aspect of obesity that's not often covered. But it's becoming more prevalent as obesity rates rise in this country. You can read or listen to the entire story here.

There are several things I appreciate about this story. First, the (unnamed) reporter made a point to say that there are plenty of obese people who have satisfying relationships, including sex lives. This story could so easily have been painted in broad brushstrokes; I'm very grateful it was not.

Also, I have to give props to Larry Boynton, one of the men featured in the story. When he and his wife, Dana Englehardt, first met, she was already heavy. (It was after they married that she gained 60 pounds and that their sexual problems began.) Anyway, speaking of when they first met, the reporter says, "Boynton says he didn't focus on Englehardt's size. 'Once I decided to put that out of my mind and allow the relationship to grow with the person I was falling in love with — her personality and how much fun we had together — it just really wasn't an issue,' Boynton says."  

How rare is that?!? My instincts say it's quite rare, but I'm curious: Is that more common than I think? Are there plenty of good men out there who'll look past an exterior that might not make it onto most magazine covers...and focus on the woman's personality and character? If you know of such men or if you are one, I'd really like to hear your experience (please comment below!).

And finally, Eric Leckbee, another man featured in the story, struggles to believe that his wife finds him attractive despite his weight (which can be as high as 300 pounds). He quotes his wife as saying to him, "I love you and I'm attracted to you regardless of your weight." Well, this one really resonates with me, as I was in love with a man much larger than 300 pounds, and I can tell you...the attraction was definitely there.

Now, should obese people work toward greater overall health? Yes, absolutely. (Though if they do, some may still be larger than the average person—size alone is not necessarily a definite indicator of health.) Will their sex lives improve if they do? Perhaps. But in the meantime...take it from one who knows: they can still bring—and with the right partner, receive—the sexy.