Even the Beautiful People Need to Be Loved From the Inside Out

The other day at work I was having lunch with a bunch of people, and a couple of us got to talking about people who are extraordinarily attractive (as deemed by our culture). One guy told about a time when he was working in an office supply store, and this drop-dead-gorgeous woman walked in. Apparently she was so gorgeous that everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and just watched her. Even employees (some of whom called other coworkers and had them come onto the sales floor just so they could see this woman). Even the boss! My friend said that the boss, instead of doing any work, was himself watching and talking about her.

I started thinking about what her life must be like, if she's stared at everywhere she goes. How uncomfortable that must be! I even started to feel sorry for her. I know, it's hard to feel sorry for the beautiful people, right? But seriously, to be stared at all the time, to have people treat you like you're on some kind of pedestal, just because you're physically attractive? That would get tiresome for me--really fast. I know the times I've felt I was being appreciated solely for my looks (though I wouldn't say it happens all that often), it has really annoyed me--because all I can think is, "I am so much more than my looks!" Don't misunderstand me: I do like being considered attractive. It's just when I sense that it's the only level I'm being appreciated on that it grates on me.

I mentioned to my friend that I actually felt sorry for her. He said he believes the reason that sometimes, really gorgeous women go for guys who are basically losers is that those guys treat them mediocre at best--and since it's so different from how everyone else treats 'em, it feels like a good thing. That actually made a lot of sense to me! I had often wondered why you sometimes see really beautiful women (who, ostensibly, could have anyone they want) with just total loser guys. Perhaps this is an answer.

So: the question this time isn't: who are you overlooking? but: who are you fawning over, just because they're gorgeous? Maybe it's time to get to know them as people--and treat them as such.

I preach to myself, by the way.

'Drop Dead Diva' Ad Opposite Show's Message

So today I was in the car and had the radio tuned to a local pop station, when I heard a commercial for the TV show Drop Dead Diva. The voice-over announcer said something close to the following:

When you're a drop-dead model on your way to heaven, returning to earth in a size 16 body can be a big problem.

OK, I don't watch the show (something about the loved one coming back--in whatever form--hits a little to close to home; know what I mean?), but I'm thinking, "Isn't the show about accepting oneself regardless of size?" (Hmm...maybe I should watch after all.) Turns out, it is. From Lifetime TV's "About" page for the show:

In the first season of “Drop Dead Diva,” beautiful-but-vapid model wannabe Deb (Brooke D’Orsay) suddenly finds herself in front of heaven’s gatekeeper, Fred (Ben Feldman), following a fatal car crash. Outraged by her sudden demise, she attempts to persuade Fred to return her to her shallow existence but is accidentally relegated to the body of the recently deceased Jane Bingum (Brooke Elliott). An intelligent, thoughtful and plus-size attorney with a loyal assistant, Teri (Margaret Cho), Jane has always lived in the shadow of her colleagues, whereas Deb has always relied on her external beauty. By a twist of fate and a bolt of divine intervention, Deb must come to terms with inhabiting Jane’s curvier frame and learn to reconcile her beauty-queen ways with her brilliant new mind.

Lifetime, might I suggest you have your ad agency rewrite that commercial? I mean, it implies the very opposite of your show's message! It implies that being a size 16 (especially for a once "drop-dead model") is a "big problem." Now, for any individual size-16 woman, if her size indicates a health problem, that's one thing. But somehow, Lifetime, I don't think that's the kind of "problem" a reasonable person could assume the ad's implying. It also implies that someone who's a size 16 is by definition not "drop dead" gorgeous. (Lifetime, I'm sure you agree with me, but in case anyone doubts, I offer a little evidence to the contrary.)

By the way, how did this ad even make it through the approval process?

Seriously...you can do so much better.